It's the holidays again. They seemed to have come upon us so quickly this year. Maybe it's because Thanksgiving was later in November. Or because we were so caught up in the U.S elections and other current events, that we looked up and Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Eve and Day needed to be urgently addressed. Where will I be for the holidays? Am I mailing presents for the holidays? Am I going to the office Christmas party? Traveling or staying home? Having people over? Am I in the mood for the holidays, or am I just going to let them pass this year? The sun rises and sets and each new day brings us closer to Christmas Eve. Christmas and Chanukah are on the same day this year, (It's happened only four other times in the last century). Children love this sprint to the day, when they hopefully will receive wonderful gifts, but we adults know that the three weeks prior to Christmas can be filled with wonderful "Christmas Spirit", and also can be filled with anxiety, stress and sadness.
There are those who celebrate none of these holidays, but are still well aware of the impact of them. From television commercials to store front windows and neighborhood lights, the "season" is evident. Along with it comes the expectation of holiday cheer, love, peace and goodwill. Families gather, special food is cooked, Christmas trees are aglitter and people seem to be friendlier. Yet, for some, loss and painful nostalgia are the overwhelming feeling of the holidays. There are wars raging, racism, sexism, and antisemitism still run rampant. Many are dealing with food insecurity and homelessness and there is unease with what 2025 will bring once the holidays have passed.
So how do we handle all of the tough stuff that we have gone through and are going through, in this season of "Joy to the World?" Here are five things to keep in mind that may help.
Practice Gratitude
Studies have shown that a focus on gratitude daily can increase overall happiness and reduce depression. Daily write down one to three things that you are grateful for. If there's someone who is due a word of gratitude from you, call them and express it. Don't wait. Your expression of gratitude is a gift that you can give for free this holiday season and may be more meaningful than any store-bought gift to the receiver.
Sing!
Whether you're a trained vocalist, or tone deaf, singing has been shown to increase endorphins, and oxytocin- decreasing pain, reducing stress, and decreasing depression. If ever there was a time to sing, the holiday season is the time! Whether Christmas carols, Chanukah songs or your favorite pop song- sing it! Listening to music is also a wonderful way to improve your mood and sharing a song that you love with a friend or loved one is another free gift that you can give.
Random Acts of Kindness
How often has someone done something nice for you that was totally unexpected, and
made you feel momentarily fantastic? It's the unneccessary kindness of the act that
touches you most. Well this works in the reverse as well. When you perform a random act of kindness, you also feel the happiness that ensues and this is again something that you can give without money. It cost you nothing to let someone go in front of you on line who has less items than you. Nor does it cost you to leave a sticky note for someone you appreciate at home or at work letting them know. It'll make their day, and yours.
4. Donate
Did you know that animal shelters will take donations of your clean, old towels to help dry the pets? Go into that linen closet and get out the ones you no longer use and drop them off.
Donate your old clothes, or those you no longer wear, especially footwear and coats. Goodwill, Salvation Army, Volunteers of America and several other organizations are available to receive your donations. Someone out there needs them- I promise!
5. Learn Something New
As human beings, we really never stop learning. There's something new to learn about someone, something or yourself every day. But there is something about deciding to learn a new thing that helps us to feel better about ourselves and boosts our mood. Whether it be a new language, facts about a place you've always wondered about or learning a new skill, learning a new thing is the gift that you can give yourself. It offers us an extra purpose and reduces our stress, while helping us feel proud of ourselves. Decide on something and then pursue it with intention, even if it's just for a few minutes a day. It will distract you from negative thoughts and emotions and convert that time into something useful for you and maybe even those around you.
By the way- teaching someone something that you know and they want to know is also a great gift to them and to yourself.
These are five things that are sure to help somewhat in this season of giving. There are so many more. For some this is in fact the season to be jolly, for others, "tis the season to be intentional about our joy.
Either way, wishing you the happiest of the holidays...
Darlene Ifill-Taylor, M.D, LFAPA
Darlene Ifill-Taylor, M.D is a lifetime fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and Owner and Medical Director of Three Strand Wellness in Charlotte, NC. She is an Adult, Marital and Child Psychopharmacologist and Psychotherapist.
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